Phuket Thailand – Brian and Michelle’s adventure ;-)

Leaving my beautiful Hoi An and flying to Phuket was a teensy bit of a mission…. a 3 hour flight to Kuala Lumpur, then an 11.5 hour snooze on the cold airport floor (fun), and finally 1 more flight to Phuket which took an hour and a bit….but finally i arrived in Phuket!!!!

I was in Phuket 4 years ago and my how it has changed.  Phuket is the best place to go if you only have a short amount of time as you can get to see everything, so i guess that is why it is so polluted with tourists…or maybe i have just got used to there being more locals than tourists in the places i have been visiting recently.

I was really happy to see Brian, in all honesty i have been feeling a tad home sick…home sick for my London friends who i just left recently but who hold a special place in my heart and home sick for my South African family, most of which i have not seen in almost 5.5 years (in particular my brother who now has a baby girl, well not so baby any more and i have never met her).  So having a familiar face around is just what i needed to get my momentum to keep going on this awesome journey.


sorry bad pic taken on phone 😉

It was Brian’s first time in Thailand so there were many things we just HAD to do…first up for him of course was just getting some sun considering he was coming from the minus temperatures of London.

Most of our days were spent chilling by either the beach or our hotel pool but we did book a day island hoping tour.

The tour started off by going to Maya Beach where the film The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio was filmed.  Again i was so shocked how many tourists there were compared to 4 years ago.

Maya Beach

Maya Beach

Next up was a visit to Monkey beach where we visited Brian’s siblings.  As you can see we were a bit nervous to get too close to them considering their tempers 😉

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We also went to Phi Phi islands but unfortunately after a long lunch and getting caught up chatting to a lovely older couple, Brian never really got to see how beautiful Phi Phi really is and which is also one of the only island where no cars are allowed.

doing some snorkelling

doing some snorkelling

One of the things i never got to do 4 years ago was go to a Go Go show….for some of you with innocent minds who do not know what a Go Go show is well….its not for the faint hearted haha…. its a “free” show but you end up paying some ridiculous price for drinks (ok its still cheap in pounds standards) and then you witness old thai women shooting things out of their cookie that should not have entered that zone in the first place!!!!  A few random things we witnessed were the ladies pulling and/or shooting the following out of their vagina’s… Razor blades, a budgie, baby turtles (like 4 of them), baby catfish, smoking a cigarette (like about 10 puffs), shot darts at balloons (whilst people were holding the balloons….no thanks) and much more!!!  They had powerful vagina’s!!!!!!  Sorry no pictures but i’m sure you would not want to see them anyway…Old women…stretched vagina’s….thats what i have to have nightmares about!!!!

what the talented ladies can shoot out their cookies ;-)

what the talented ladies can shoot out their cookies 😉

We also went to a Ladyboy Cabaret show (called Moulin Rose if anybody is ever in Phuket and wants to go to one) where Brian was molested throughout the whole show.  One minute the ladyboys were dancing and singing on stage, next minute they walked up to where we were sitting, pulled down their top and proceeded to rub their big fake titties in Brian’s face, holding him tightly so that he could not get away… the first time was like oh wow this is funny….after that it was ridiculously funny….they got a thrill out of seeing him squirm and i was loving every minute of it.  i tried to get pictures but it kept happening so quickly that i kept missing it haha….I’m sure he was loving all the attention 😉  But all in all Brian and i both agreed that it was a brilliant show…one of the best Cabaret shows i have EVER seen!!!!

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the fat "lady" at the top of the pic was by far the funniest i have ever seen!!!

the fat “lady” at the top of the pic was by far the funniest i have ever seen!!!

the ladyboys LOVING Brian

the ladyboys LOVING Brian

i had to pay for my picture with the ladyboy…how stunning is this one though…def should have been a women!!!!

So besides for the relaxing days on the beach, chilling by the hotel pool, riding scooters all over the island, the Go Go show and ladyboy show, we ended up going to meet up with a girlfriend i met in Koh Phangan back during my first week of travelling.  She was staying with some other South African’s on the other side of Phuket.  So off Brian and i went for an hour’s journey to Phuket old town where we all decided to go out to a Thai club.  The club was packed full of Thai’s and we were the only foreigners.  For some reason the owner of the club took a liking to Brian and the other South African guy and ended up basically sharing his bottle of Chivas Regal whiskey with them the whole night and even got a waiter to bring them free beers outside.

partying with the Thai's

partying with the Thai’s

4 south african's and 1 canadian :-)

4 south african’s and 1 canadian 🙂

So after a few too many drinks the group of us decided to go back to this guy’s house for a house party.  Well i’m sorry to say that the Samsung Whiskey i was drinking did take away my memory because one minute i remember being at this guy’s house and swimming and the next minute i woke up on a deck chair besides the pool with the cleaner picking up bottles next to me.

Now you see earlier in the evening we had made a joke about jumping over the wall near the house where these other South African’s lived and using the pool, and in my hungover state i woke up suddenly with this cleaner next to me, freaked out, didn’t think properly and my first thought is SHIT WE BROKE INTO THE HOUSE TO USE THE POOL….Brian was passed out on the couch inside and i promptly booted him off the couch and said we had to get out of there…poor Brian being woken up like that so suddenly didn’t know what was happening and we proceeded to get the lift down to the ground floor (yes this was a super fancy house with a lift from the third floor to the ground level) but as we rushed to the front gate to get the hell off the property it all came back to me haha…. so we went back inside (thank goodness as i had left my phone there) but realized everyone was sleeping and we wanted to just get home.  So leaving the property again we walk out onto the street which is just big fancy houses with no cars driving around.  We find some builders and say “taxi” to them and they just laughed at us…clearly no taxi’s drive on that road.  Eventually after hanging around for a bit one of the workers gave us a lift into town where the only “taxi” we can find is a guy on a scooter.  So hungover as ever, Brian and i take this “taxi” for the hour drive back to our hotel….Brian in the middle and me at the back trying my best not to fall asleep or vomit…………WOW THANK YOU SAMSUNG WHISKEY FOR THE GREAT NIGHT.

the owner and his beautiful pool that dropped over the edge!!!

the owner and his beautiful pool that dropped over the edge!!!

Brian and i are also the proud owners of our first Thai police fine for riding scooters without licences 🙂  500 bht fine each (11 pounds / R155) and we were sent on our way back on the scooters.

very proud of our first fines ;-)

very proud of our first fines 😉

One of our nights out at dinner we met this cute little girl trying to sell things to us.  I have a rule never to buy things from little kids, especially ones roaming the street at 11pm at night, but this little girl wouldn’t take no for an answer and she promptly jumped up behind me and started to plait my hair.  She didn’t ask for money or i should say i gave her money before she asked….i do have a heart it seems and felt bad 😉

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On our last two nights in Phuket we moved to a different part of the island which i didn’t even know existed called Kata beach which is also near Karon beach…about an hour’s drive from Patong.  I recommend that part of the island to anyone wanting to go to Phuket.  it is soooo much cleaner!!!

a bit of luxury before i have to go back to hostels

a bit of luxury before i have to go back to hostels

a bath on the balcony!!!!  amazing!!!!

a bath on the balcony!!!! amazing!!!!

11 days in Phuket went by so quickly.  It was nice to have a familiar face around and nice to break away from the backpacking route.  But after another sad goodbye it was time for me to head back to beautiful Hoi An!!!!!

Bye Brian xxx

Bye Brian xxx


another beautiful Thailand sunset


2 thoughts on “Phuket Thailand – Brian and Michelle’s adventure ;-)

  1. I have to say that I admire your spirit. I think a few prudes would be taken aback by your recount of your choice of entertainment, although I must say I’ve never seen razor blades or turtles…. shocking! lol. As for Brian’s discomfort with the Lady-boy, I would have been more concerned if he wasn’t uncomfortable:) Love the stories, keep them coming!

Thanks for reading and comments really do make my day ;-)

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